Friday, January 29, 2010
Friday, August 21, 2009
Get Negativity Out Of Your Life!
They say that the way to have a positive attitude and a positive life is to surround yourself only with positive things and positive people. What do you do then, when the negative influence in your life comes from your friend, maybe your best friend, or even worse, your spouse?If you are to take the positive advice literally, you are going to dump them! We both know that such advice simply is not acceptable. So what DO you do?
Firstly, have you considered the fact that subconsciously if not consciously, such people could be afraid? Afraid that you might be growing beyond them and leaving them behind? Afraid that your success may diminish their own achievements or their feelings of self-worth? All these fears and more are quite possible and mentioned here that you may consider a different viewpoint. In the ideal world, you convert negative thinkers to your positive way of thinking. Unfortunately we do not live in an ideal world and we would not want to force everyone to think in the same way as you and I. What you do is simply this: Take the positive step of accepting them for who they are - your friend, your spouse.
We All Have The Right To Choose!
We all have the right to choose. No-one can take that away from us. It is no different for those who are close to us. We may not like their attitude or way of thinking. We may even consider them to be completely wrong or out of order, but that doesn't change a thing. Okay, so let's say we do that. Where does that leave us? We still have those negative vibes coming through. We have already come to the conclusion that we can't change the person, so the only person left is ourselves.
When the negative shots are fired at us, what do we find ourselves focusing on? The negative projectiles fired at us. Right? If we accept that we cannot change the person, then we are left with changing our thinking. That means how we think and what we focus on.The way we feel after receiving negative input, is no more than a reaction. Control your reaction and win.
Expectations.
When you have a new venture, an idea, a piece of personal excitement that you want to share, you expect a particular kind of reaction and are quite disappointed when it isn't forthcoming. Notice what happens when you reverse the approach. I.e. When you have no expectations whatsoever! Suddenly, even the tiniest positive return is a huge bonus! If you don't get any, then it ceases to matter because you weren't expecting any anyway! So, instead of focussing on the negative, focus on the good.
Focus On The Good!
To some extent you need to be single-minded, focussing on your goal rather than theirs at that moment in time. So, if you haven`t already done so, get your goal firmly fixed in your mind. Determine how much you really want it, and ask yourself whether or not you are prepared to pay the price.
Are You Prepared To Pay The Price?
Does that frighten you? Paying the price? It shouldn`t. Whatever we achieve in this life always requires a price to be paid. Sometimes it is a financial amount. Other times, it may simply be time, and so on. Every single day, you are already "paying the price" on numerous achievements, big and small. In this particular circumstance, the way in which you pay the price is to focus entirely on your objective in such a way that negative comments or influences simply have no leverage.
Believe in yourself sincerely and you will not fail. As I mentioned previously, many "positive thinking" speakers direct you to surround yourself with positive people and a positive environment in order for you to remain positive in all you do. I have no doubt that if you are able to achieve the building of such an environment that it works! Picture the scene: You get out of bed in the morning and the sun is shining, the sky is blue. If you have a spouse, they greet you with a kiss. The smiling postman never brings any bills. Everyone on the way to work drives so happily and considerately. Your boss holds the door open for you as you enter the air-conditioned building and you have just the right amount of work to do to keep you positively charged. You need to do something -.snap your fingers! Wake up! It just cannot be done to this extreme. I jest here. I still believe that to keep yourself surrounded by positive people will work for you, but it is unlikely that such an environment could be sustained for very long at all. This would be the ideal world we mentioned. The fact is however, that we invariably do not live in this kind of world and somewhere along the way we associate with people who do not share our values, ideals, excitement. What then? It could be our friends, our family or worse, our spouse. Do we go away and quietly curl up in a corner somewhere and forget about any "wild idea" that we had? No. Of course not. What would be the point in getting involved with any positive idea otherwise! No, the key is to mentally consider those you associate with and determine those who are supportive, forward thinking and positive.
Get An Injection Of Positivity!
These will be the kind of people who will not blindly say "well done, go for it", but those who genuinely encourage you to develop, to move forward, to make something of yourself. Take a minute รป right now. Get out your address book. Go through it and maybe highlight all those who you know you can count on to be there for you. Those friends and relatives that care about you and know you and know about the successes you have had and are able to offer the encouragement you need. What you do not need is sympathy. What you do need is an injection of positivity from those you can count on when you are under attack. When times get tough, these are your reserve. Let me tell you how to prepare another reserve. One that you can have to hand at a moment`s notice. One that when you immerse yourself in it will give you that positive boost at almost a moments notice.
Your Positive Energy Booster!
Take a hardback notebook and your most comfortable pen and start writing. Don`t write about just any old thing, but concentrate on your achievements. Write about your successes. Write it so that the pages flow with excitement and enthusiasm and emotion as you reflect on all that you tackled and won. It could be major projects, or it could be small tasks that were major things that you achieved. Keep going. Fill the book if you feel up to it. Add to the book as often as you are able and recognize further successes. During those times when you are not writing in the book, make sure it is readily accessible and not left on the shelf to gather dust. In those moments when negativity is thrust at you,take that opportunity to open up and loose yourself in the pages of your treasure trove of success. Remind yourself. Relive those experiences seeing yourself right there. Feel the emotive elation you felt at that time. This is your positive energy booster that will thrust you past the negative surge and set you back on your path to your goals. Still need more? Let`s talk about what you believe.
Here is something of a deep question for you that I cover in more depth in another article: Why do you believe what you believe? Ponder on this question and you will find the answer to be not so complex as it might sound. You believe what you believe fundamentally because of your experiences and the experiences of others in whom you trust. At this moment in time, you believe that you will at some point receive negative input from someone who is able to affect you. Why do you believe that? Simply because it has happened before or because there has been a similar scenario where the support or positive input simply has not been there for you. This is a scene you do not like, but for some reason up until now, you have not been able to change it. All that is about to change. You are taking positive control of your life.
A True Story
Have you noticed what happens when you receive unexpected news that just might have negative repercussions? Suddenly every negative thought, experience, and even other people`s negative experiences in such scenarios flashes before you and you embrace them with loving arms! I recently had personal experience of this within my extended family. My 19 year old niece had cause to visit
Suddenly every evil act that was ever inflicted upon a young girl came to mind for her parents and others around her. The more time that passed the deeper those impressions took hold. Great lengths were taken to locate her. She became a name on the official missing persons list. Many people became part of what almost might be described as hysteria. Her father followed the flight path himself and flew to
Whatever you think of the scenario, look at the known facts. Very simply, she had flown out and not reported back. In the end, the reasons were very simple but lack of mental control took over in a whole range of people who based their actions on experiences, feelings, and emotions, rather than facts. Visualization is a powerful tool. If you want to challenge negativity. If you want to be in control. Focus on facts rather than fiction.
Other people`s opinions are no more than fiction - their thoughts, their ideas. Sometimes that`s helpful, but not always. Focus on success and be the leader. Be the example and not the blind follower of opinion. Be considerate though and realise that others are entitled to their opinion and feelings. Use visualization so that it is a positive tool in your favour. See your previous successes big and small. See them in your mind. Focus on them and move on. Everyone has a right to their opinion, but ours is based on fact. Enjoy success.
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Doug is a professional life coach specializing in coaching people through redundancy. This article may be reproduced and distributed with the condition that this credit is included and no changes are made. - Doug Harvey - Life Coach - LifeSight: http://www.lifesight.net
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Thursday, June 11, 2009
Shopping with your kids at COSTCO...
Executive members - thanks for being executive. I mean - you guys know what you want, it's like get in and get out before the circus begins. If I had to actually pay for my COSTCO membership (I have one through work, executive in fact) I would splurge for the executive just to beat the rush of the crazies.
OK, so I digress. When the floodgates open for the "regular people" all hell breaks loose. Now, here is my question. Why bring your kids to COSTCO with you?
In like 2 minutes, they are over the thrill of riding in the cart and they want to explore and so you think, OK, I will let them carry my economy sized pack of 36 jars of dill pickles and you know what happens next. Frickin' pickles everywhere. How do you explain to little Johnny that he cannot just run around the store even though it's a warehouse and that it's not OK to throw yourself on the floor in a violent rage of what looks like an epileptic seizure to other shoppers?
This happened the WHOLE time we were there and thank God for my little 4-foot table protecting me from the madness of the Saturday shopper's kids.
Now, I don't have kids, but when I do, they aren't coming to COSTCO with me. In fact, kids shouldn't really be anywhere outside of their homes until they don't crap their pants anymore.
Just my two cents.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
RIP Pap...
John was a loving husband, father, grandfather & friend who will never be forgotten and will be forever missed. John was married to Marie in 1957 – they were approaching an unheard of 53 years of marriage this year. They had one son, John, or Bubba, and he married Annette, who came to be more of their daughter than a daughter in law, especially to Pap. John and Annette had two girls, Nina and Carlee, and they were everything to Pap and he was everything to them. Even if you were extended family, family by marriage, a friend of the family, neighbor, or a distant cousin, Pap still loved you and you were family to him. Everyone called him Pap – even if he wasn’t your real Pap. There wasn’t anyone who didn’t love him. Pap loved the Pittsburgh Steelers, and was an umpire for a many years for both baseball & softball and a huge sports fan in general. He read the sports section of the newspaper EVERY MORNING. He loved the casino – playing poker – especially when he won! Pap always carried a hankie around with him in his pocket – Pap’s trademark - and he was the kind of guy to give you anything you needed whether it be helping take your garbage out, fixing something for you or $5. Pap was also a jokester! He prided himself on making people laugh, even if it was because of a dirty joke, in which he’d make his grandkids cover their ears. Pap always had the BEST jokes. Although we are partial, Pap was just a kind soul in general that you wanted to be around. He really was a friend to everyone, and a loyal friend at that. He was the BEST Pap. He was loved by not only his family, but by so many others, and my world won’t be the same without him.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Thin Mints.
I couldn't stop. Gotta hit the gym tomorrow.
For now - it's Ugly Betty, Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice & then sleep.
Wedding crap on commercial breaks too.